


Ranma 1/2: The Life and Times of Kenma Saotome

by SparkyFan



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: F/M, OC, Retelling of Ranma 1/2, covers manga anime and films plus OVA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkyFan/pseuds/SparkyFan
Summary: What if Ranma had a brother his age? But one clincher-he'd rather draw than practice martial arts! This story retells the Ranma 1/2 series with a new character, Kenma, with help from fellow Fanfiction writer DaniFuli (who's got some neat stories on FanFiction.net).
Relationships: Akane/Kenma/Ryoko





	Ranma 1/2: The Life and Times of Kenma Saotome

**Tale 1:** **Here's Ranma! (and Kenma, too)**

**Featured voices:**

**ROBERT O. SMITH as Genma Saotome**

**DAVID KAYE as Soun Tendo**

**WILLOW JOHNSON as Kasumi Tendo**

**ANGELA COSTAIN as Nabiki Tendo**

**MYRIAM SIROIS as Akane Tendo**

**GREG ABBEY as Ranma Saotome (male)**

**VENUS TERZO as Ranko Saotome (female)**

**RICK JONES as Kenma Saotome**

**ALAN MARRIOTT as Dr. Tofu and Jusenkyo Tour Guide**

* * *

Hi there. My name's Kenma Saotome, and if you've got time, I'd like to tell you about the spiral of insanity that is my life.

I live with my father, Genma Saotome-he teaches martial arts-and my fraternal twin brother, Ranma. If there's one thing that separates me from my dad and brother, it's that they're both hugely invested in all that martial arts stuff. I, on the other hand, don't really like it. I've never been the fighter type; I prefer drawing cartoons instead of drawing first blood. I guess Ranma was happy for me, but Dad was beside himself with grief. He whined to the heavens about why only one of his sons was interested in the future of his fighting style, and when he was done with that, he would lecture me that artists were a dime a dozen, whereas passing on the teachings of the Anything Goes Fighting Style was MUCH more important...to him, at least.

So anyways, I didn't have much time to really get into my art, since we were always on the move, and Dad had a knack for making promises to strangers that he never intended to keep, like this guy who had an okonomiyaki cart and a son named Ukyo that bro was best buddies with. Dad, being Dad, took the cart and ran off in the middle of the night, taking us with him and leaving Ukyo in the dust.

But as wild as that sounds, here's where our little escapade kicks into high gear: just last month, we made it to China, and went to this place called "Jusenkyo". While Ranma and Dad spar above the springs, I busy myself by drawing in my notebook. The tour guide begins telling this whole story about the springs...something about each of them having a kind of curse, I dunno; I'm too focused on my art to listen.

All of a sudden, this enormous panda bear lunges out of the water and knocks Ranma into one of the pools. A few seconds later, a smoking-hot redhead with huge knockers (I think at least a G-cup) comes to the surface.

Now, I've never had any friends before, but I figure as long as I'm only staying for awhile, I may as well make an impression on the local hotties. Putting my notebook in my bag, I casually stroll over and help the girl out of the water.

"You alright there?" I ask as the girl looks pretty surprised. "Also, have you seen my brother and my dad? They were here somewhere…"

"Whaddya mean, Kenma?" she replies in a very familiar Brooklyn accent. "I'm right here, in front of ya!"

I snicker. "Good one, random cute girl...but Ranma has black hair, and is a…" I suddenly trail off. "Wait...I never even told you my name! How would you know that?!"

"Ah, your brother fall into Nyannichuan; too-too tragic tale of a young girl who drown in spring 1,500 years ago. Now whoever fall in spring take shape of young girl!" the tour guide explains.

The girl turns back towards me. "Believe me now, ya damn Casanova?" she asks with a deadpan expression. "Kami, ya just tried to fucking hit on me just now!"

By now, my face is white with shock. I can only nod in response. I...I just tried to hit on my own BROTHER! Who, granted, makes a helluva cute girl, but STILL! Never before have I felt so...unclean…; it's times like this I wish I could go to therapy sessions. Too bad the old man is a cheapskate...I know both Ranma and I could use a few visits.

* * *

After that...unfortunate incident, the three of us schlepped across China until we made it back to Japan-more specifically, a little town called Nerima. Genma had explained to the both of us why we had returned here. Apparently one of his old friends, Tendo-san, had arranged for us to be engaged to two of his 3 daughters in order to carry on the legacy of his dojo.

Naturally, Ranma wanted no part of that, and neither did I. Don't get me wrong; wooing not ONE, not TWO, but 3 girls sounds great, but I'd prefer to romance them on my OWN terms, not because two old boneheads put together some nutty marriage plot before we were born…and that's how we ended up here, running the rainy streets.

* * *

(3rd Person P.O.V.)

The rain poured down in the streets of Nerima as a red-headed girl raced down the road; in pursuit of her was a panda bear, followed by a ginger-haired boy in a blue, ripped, short sleeved jean jacket & Japanese sweatpants that spelt out "Senpai" on the side in kanji, and beige boots, a hood covering his head and hands in pockets.

"Hey!" the girl snapped as she threw her backpack aside. "You better cut that out!"

The massive ursine lunged for her, but she leapt up and kicked him in the face, toppling him over. Fortunately, the boy behind him managed to get out of the way just in time.

"Geez, watch where you're kicking; he almost flattened me!" the boy exclaimed.

"Well, he DIDN'T!" the girl replied before turning back to the panda, who stood up and smacked her, sending her sliding down a street corner and into a more populated area.

Naturally, everyone who saw the large panda walking down the street towards her began to murmur excitedly. Because, of course, seeing a panda and a teenage girl squaring off isn't something that one would consider a normal experience.

"Your move," the girl remarked as the panda lunged with a swipe of his claws. "Well, I still say the whole thing sucks!"

Every further swipe the bear took was dodged, then the girl grabbed the panda by the arm and judo-flipped him over her shoulder. "PICKING MY FIANCE FOR ME WITHOUT EVEN ASKING…!"

The girl panted in mild exhaustion as she reclaimed her bag. "I'm going back to China now...so suck on that, old man," she spat. She then turned to the bored and indifferent boy.

"Kenma, if you're coming, try to keep up."

The boy, Kenma, rolled his eyes as he followed behind his acquaintance. Unfortunately, the panda still had some fight left in him, as he got to his feet, and knocked the girl out with a street sign. He then put her over his shoulder, and took the bag in his other paw. He turned to Kenma and gave a growl at him, as if saying to follow.

Kenma nodded, and did just that. Noticing the people murmuring around him, the panda let off a quick growl to frighten them away, before continuing on the path he was headed in.

Kenma just sighed.

"What kami did I anger to be in this situation?" he thought miserably.

* * *

_**MEANWHILE…** _

Soun Tendo's eyes sparkled with a childlike joy as he clutched the postcard in his fingers.

"At last, Ranma is coming!" he beamed. "How I've waited for this day…!" As he lowered the postcard, it became clear that his eyes were flooded with tears of joy. "And soon, very soon...he will be here!"

He glanced up to the ceiling, and began calling out to his daughters. "Listen up! Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!"

The first one, Kasumi, age 19, was the oldest of the three, and was in the kitchen, turning off the stove while she finished preparing a dish.

"Kasumi," said Soun as he poked his head inside the kitchen.

"Yes, what is it, Father?" she asked in a dutiful manner.

The second, Nabiki, age 17, was in her room, reading a magazine when Soun came inside.

"Nabiki!" he announced.

"Hm?" the girl replied, lifting her head.

Finally, that left just one. But when Soun checked Akane's room, she wasn't there. "Akane?" he asked. "Where is that girl…?"

The girl in question, Akane, age 16, was in the dojo, decked out in a martial arts gi. She inhaled through her nostrils, steadying her hand, before letting out a "HAAI-YAH!" and chopping two cinder blocks in half, with a small chunk landing at Nabiki's feet.

Akane wiped her brow, looking a bit more pleasant than she had previously. "Whew...that felt pretty good." Just then, she saw a Polaroid camera flash. "Huh?"

Turns out the Polaroid belonged to Nabiki. "There you go again, Akane," she said in a chastising tone. "This is exactly the type of thing that makes the boys think you're so weird."

Akane's brow furrowed. "So why should I care, Nabiki?" she asked. "Not everybody thinks the whole WORLD revolves around...BOYS!" She angrily turned her head up.

"No?" asked Nabiki, turning on her heels and walking out of the dojo. "Then I guess this wouldn't interest you."

As she left, Akane poked her head out the door and looked on, curious.

And so, a little while later, all three Tendo daughters were gathered in the main room with their father.

"Fiance?" asked Kasumi.

"Yes," replied Soun. "The son of a very good friend of mine. His name is Ranma Saotome. If one of you three girls were to marry him and carry on this training hall, then the two schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts would be joined as one!"

Akane glared. "Hey, wait a minute here! Don't we get to have SOME say in who we're going to marry?" she growled, flames of anger in her eyes.

Nabiki leaned over. "Maybe you should wait until you meet him. You never know, he might be really cute." she told her little sister, who just turned her head away again. "Right, Daddy?"

Soun chuckled warmly. "They'll be here any minute." he said as he stood up. "The boy and his father have been on a training mission. Recently they crossed into China."

"Ooh, China," Nabiki beamed.

Akane couldn't care less. "So they hiked all the way to China; wow, big deal." she remarked dismissively.

"Father, how old is Ranma?" asked Kasumi.

"Is he cute?" asked Nabiki, hopeful.

"Younger men are so...young." Kasumi stated. "Not to mention they aren't very interesting…"

"Well, what kind of guy IS he?" asked Akane.

Soun laughed for a few minutes, before he turned to face his daughters. "...I don't know." he replied.

Now Nabiki looked pretty miffed. "You don't know…?" she asked.

"I've never met him," Soun admitted sheepishly.

Nabiki and Kasumi stared at their father, whereas Akane was a different story altogether.

Oh, kami-sama; I don't believe this...she thought to herself as she continued to glare.

Suddenly, on the verandah, there were heavy footsteps heard. Along with them were the protests of a female voice, yelling, "Leggo, ya old fool! I told ya, I don't want any part of this! Now put me DOWN!"

"Oh my! Sounds like we have visitors," Kasumi said as she stood up.

"Ooh, it must be Ranma!" Nabiki remarked as she went outside to check.

"Gen- _kun_ , my friend!" Soun exclaimed with jollity in his voice as he went to go take a look. "We've been waiting!"

"I hope that Ranma's older than me…" Kasumi said to herself as she and Akane went to go take a look. But to their surprise, Nabiki and Soun came running back down the hallway, and behind them was the massive panda, accompanied by the fiercely-protesting girl and the nonchalant boy.

"So, this is Saotome-san?" asked Kasumi. Soun rapidly shook his head.

"Oh? Then I suppose this panda just decided to drop by for a visit?" asked Nabiki, her eyebrows arched up in question.

The boy stepped to the front. "People, people, relax; if we could trouble you for some hot water, I'd be happy to ex…" he began, but he trailed off once he got a good look at Akane.

Time seemed to stand still-the boy had never seen someone so beautiful before in his entire life...her very presence left him speechless, and his mouth gaped in surprise. His cheeks were tinged with a bright pink color.

Akane glanced back at the boy, who looked positively dumbstruck. What was wrong with him?! For all she knew, he was probably sizing her up so he could do something lecherous to her later. Typical, he was no different than all the drooling horndogs at her school! And to think, she'd have to marry him? The very thought made Akane's blood boil with white-hot rage!

"Hey! What're you looking at, you hentai?" she asked him. "Cat got your tongue?"

Her only response came in the form of a goofy-looking smile from the boy.

"Well…? ANSWER ME, YOU…YOU BAKA!" she shouted as she conjured up a mallet and hammered him, sending him off into space.

The panda looked quite frightened by that, before he placed the girl down in front of him, perhaps intending to use her as a meat shield if Akane rounded on them.

Soun reached a quivering finger toward the second, non-bludgeoned redhead. "You...wouldn't be…"

The redhead turned to the side, looking a bit shy. "...Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." she explained.

Soun's surprise gave way to joy. "At last! You have come!" he exclaimed, grabbing Ranma by the shoulders.

"Oooh...he is cute," Nabiki noted, taking in the view.

Kasumi looked a bit concerned. "Then who was the other boy?" Her question fell on deaf ears.

Soun hugged Ranma to his chest. "I'm so glad you're here!" he beamed. Just then, he felt that something was not right with this situation.

He hugged him a couple more times, then stepped back and saw that the alleged 'boy' was sporting a rather...plentiful bust.

Nabiki leaned in, and began poking Ranma's chest, much to the detriment of the pigtailed one. She then started feeling it with her hand.

"Um...could you stop that?" Ranma asked, the embarrassment bubbling up inside.

Nabiki then turned back towards her father. "...Ranma's not a boy, he's a girl!"

By now, Soun had broken out in a cold sweat; he felt lightheaded, and the room seemed like it was spinning. With a cry of shock, he fainted.

* * *

After an undetermined amount of time, Soun regained consciousness as he was lying down on top of a futon.

"Oh, poor Father; you must be so disappointed," Kasumi sighed.

"He's disappointed? He's not the only one!" Nabiki replied, poking at Ranma's rack. "I mean, just look at her! Some fiance!"

"Hey, could ya stop that?" Ranma asked quietly.

"Hey, leave her alone, you two," Akane said. "He...er, she's our guest."

"This is all your fault, Daddy," said Nabiki, scolding Soun. "Don't you know the difference between a girl and a boy?"

"B-but, Genma said that he had a son!" Soun retorted, cowering in fear from the look Nabiki was giving him.

Nabiki squeezed Ranma's breast to emphasize her statement. "Does this look like a son to you? Hmm?" she asked.

"...I really wish you'd stop that…" Ranma told her, glowering quietly.

"You heard her, Nabiki," said Akane in a disappointed tone. "Stop sexually harassing our guest."

Nabiki withdrew her hand as Akane placed one of hers on Ranma's shoulder. "Hey...you wanna join me in the dojo?" she asked with a smile.

Ranma looked at Akane gratefully, thankful that someone had saved her from that embarrassing situation. Was this the start of a beautiful friendship? "Sure, I'd love ta have a match with ya."

"I'm Akane," the girl told her. "...you wanna be friends?"

Ranma gave a small, curt nod in response.

* * *

Soon, both girls were in the Tendo Dojo.

"You studied kenpo, right?" asked Akane.

"A little…" replied Ranma.

"Well, then let's have a little match, okay?" Akane told her. "C'mon...just for fun."

Both girls stepped to opposite sides of the dojo floor, and Akane took an offensive stance. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you," she said to Ranma.

She lunged at Ranma, throwing a punch that she dodged; then a kick, which was sidestepped. Then another punch, punch, and another kick-all of which were easily dodged.

"What's wrong? Attack me!" Akane grunted, before throwing another punch, following it up with 2 extra punches.

Why...why am I missing her? Akane asked herself, exhausted. Is she reading my moves?

"Okay, this time for real!" she declared, before letting out a yell and punching a hole in the wall; fortunately, Ranma dodged that as well-she backflipped over Akane's head, and lightly tapped her on the back of her head.

Ranma couldn't help but chuckle, and soon, Akane joined in on the laughter.

"You're pretty good," she beamed as she strolled around the room. "I'm just glad that you're a girl."

Ranma looked a bit confused.

"I'm just really glad you're not a boy!" Akane explained as she walked out of the dojo, leaving Ranma alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kenma crash-landed in an alleyway after being hammered into space. The alleyway was a little dingy and covered with all kinds of litter. Thanks to the trash, however, Kenma had a soft landing.

Kenma groaned in pain and managed to stay in a semi-conscious state.

W-what happened? Kenma thought, rubbing his head as he tried to stop his head from throbbing in pain. I remember being malleted into space...but who was it? It was one of those girls, right?

Kenma attempted to get up, but when he got to his feet, he lost his balance and fell backwards.

"FUCK!" he screamed as pain shot through his body. "Damn, that hurts like hell!"

Just then, a man in black robes came outside. He looked down at Kenma, who was suffering from extreme pain.

"Ah, I thought I heard screaming out here," he said. The man walked to Kenma's side and pulled him to his feet, keeping an arm around his waist so that Kenma wouldn't fall. "I'm Dr. Tofu, the local chiropractor for Nerima. What is your name?"

"Ke-kenma… S-Saotome… " Kenma managed to say, grabbing his groin as he felt the pain spreading in the area.

"Kenma, huh? Well, at the moment, you're not polished." Dr. Tofu chuckled to himself at his bad joke.

Kenma looked at him incredulously. "What do you mean I'm not polished? I'm the cool kid next door! Everyone loves me! Especially the girls."

Dr. Tofu kept on chuckling. "Your wounds say otherwise." As soon as Dr. Tofu put Kenma on the examination table, he sobered up immediately. "How did this happen to you?"

Kenma rubbed his neck as Dr. Tofu began treating his injuries, trying to recall what exactly happened.

"Well, my head's kind of fuzzy after what happened," Kenma admitted. "But I remember that my bastard father brought me and my sister, er, brother to his old friend, Tendo-san, whom he made an agreement with promising o that one of his sons will marry one of Tendo-san's daughters and join the two schools of martial arts. At first, me and my brother were furious, but when I saw those three beautiful goddesses, l immediately changed my mind. However, it seems to appear that one of the three gir-, no, women are not very fond of men. At least, that's what I think. Anyways, that woman pulled out a mallet from somewhere and hit me, sending me into the stratosphere. However, I truly deserved that as I was ogling at her body shamelessly. All I can hope for is that she'll be willing to forgive me."

"Hmm… " Dr. Tofu said when Kenma finished his tale. "Sounds like Akane… "

"Akane Tendo?" nodded. "Ah, what a fine and lovely name for such a fair princess. I have been smitten by this feisty woman. I shall not stop until I have captured her heart!"

shook his head in disbelief. "You already fell for Akane? And from the way you talk, it sounds like you're a casanova."

When he received no response from Kenma, Dr. Tofu turned to the examination board and saw… nothing. Kenma was gone. All that was left of him was a trail of blood that led to the front gates.

"Oh, no!" Dr. Tofu exclaimed. "Kenma left without telling me! But how'd he do that… "

He slapped himself. "No, now is not the time to think about such a thing. One of my patients is severely injured and if he tries to keep on going, he'll surely get killed, one way or another. I need to head over to the Tendos right now!"

* * *

In the main room, the door to the Tendo house swung open, and Kenma staggered inside, now sporting a massive black eye, and his clothes were a bit more torn. He was also bleeding a bit in a few places, and was breathing profusely.

"...finally...back…" he wheezed, clutching his knees as he caught his breath. Once he'd finished, he saw Genma and Soun sitting at a table, glancing at one another; it was clear that both men had been crying for quite some time.

"So that's it…" said Soun. Genma gave a firm nod in response.

Soun gazed out towards the sunset. "The path of a true martial artist is fraught with perils..." he remarked.

Kenma cleared his throat to get their attention, and they both turned to face him.

"Anybody gonna clue me in on what happened, or do I gotta guess for myself?" he asked.

"Saotome-san...who exactly IS this?" asked Soun.

"Nobody important, old friend!" Genma laughed sheepishly.

"I don't hafta be insulted like this, you know," Kenma remarked, glaring daggers at both of them. "Least of all, by my own father."

Soun turned to Genma. "So you do have a son!" he exclaimed.

For once, Genma Saotome was at a loss for words. There wasn't much way he could lie himself out of this little muddle.

Fortunately for him, Kenma suddenly collapsed on the ground; apparently he'd lost a good amount of blood on his way back from the doctor's office.

* * *

"Ranma, you can use this room," Kasumi told the pigtailed redhead, showing her to a nice-looking little room. "Would you like to freshen up and have a bath now?"

"Uh...no thanks," Ranma replied after some hesitation.

"Here; you've been exercising, haven't you?" Kasumi asked as she gave the girl a bright yellow towel.

Ranma looked down a bit nervously. "...yes…" she replied.

Shortly, Kasumi was in the kitchen when Nabiki came inside.

"Hey, Kasumi; who was that strange man and boy in the living room?" she asked.

Kasumi closed the fridge door. "Who knows?" she replied. "Go tell Akane she can take her bath now."

"OK…" Nabiki replied as she ducked out of the room. On her way back through, she got a good look at Dr. Tofu, treating Kenma's injuries.

"Amazing how you made it all the way here before collapsing," he noted to the somewhat-conscious Kenma. "While I find that most impressive, I'd advise you not to do anything like that again, for the sake of your own health."

Due to the sedatives he'd been given to muffle the pain, Kenma couldn't exactly speak too well; the best he could give were some grunts. He murmured something about Akane, but he was too incoherent to make any sense.

Just then, Kasumi came out of the kitchen, rice cooker in hand as she was preparing the table for dinner.

"Oh, my!" Kasumi gasped. "What happened here?"

Dr. Tofu's glasses instantly fogged up. "Oh, why Kasumi! What a nice surprise! What are you doing here?" Unintentionally, Dr. Tofu started to wrap Kenma's leg with too many elastic bandages. The pressure on his leg woke up Kenma as he started to feel pain. Even the sedatives couldn't keep him from screaming out in agony.

Kasumi let out a small giggle. "Oh, Dr. Tofu, you silly man. I live here, remember?" She glanced at Kenma, who was now trying to escape Tofu's hands. "Who is this? And what happened to this young man?"

"Oh, this person? He's nobody," Dr. Tofu replied with a goofy smile.

"Too right," agreed Genma with a firm nod. If Kenma were able to lift his arms, let alone his fingers, he would've flipped off the old bastard. Fortunately, despite being longtime friends with Genma, Soun was not so morally bankrupt

"Saotome! How could you! He's your son, whether you like him or not!" Soun cleared his throat. "Kasumi, dear, this is Kenma Saotome, one of the two sons Genma has. The other is, well, that red-haired girl we saw earlier."

Kasumi let out a surprised gasp. "How so?"

Genma and Soun exchanged a look, but before they could say anything, an ear-piercing scream rang out.

* * *

For those of you who may be baffled about what the hell's going on here, we'll have to see what happened from a different perspective.

As these events were unfolding, Ranma was in the furo after his match with Akane. He tried to avoid going to the bath, but Kasumi insisted, and, well, who can say no to Kasumi?

"What to do, what to do," Ranma thought as he sank into the warmth of the furo. "This damn curse, I just hate it! It makes me so… girly!"

Ranma let out a deep sigh. "Oh well, it's not like I can do anything about it. As far as I know, there's no cure. Now the real question is, should I go out in my real form or my cursed form?" After a moment of internal debate, he made a decision. "You know what, screw it. They'll find out sooner or later so I might as well go out like I am."

Meanwhile, Akane was getting ready to enter the furo. Nabiki told her to take a bath before dinner and she had gone to the furo to do so. She noticed that Ranma's clothes were in the hamper.

 _Ah, Ranma's in the bath,_ Akane thought with a smile. _Maybe I can get her to tell how she dodged all my attacks without fighting me before…_

But just as Ranma was getting out of the bath in his normal form, Akane opened the sliding door. Time stood still as Ranma and Akane looked at each other. Ranma was starting to panic as he saw Akane. _Goddamit, now she's gonna kill me! Just like she did to Kenma! I'm gonna fuckin' die!_

Despite his panic, Ranma managed to keep himself from freaking out.

Akane, on the other hand, was having trouble containing her anger. "There's…a…fucking HENTAI in my bath! Where's my mallet?" However, to the benefit of Akane, she managed to leave the furo with a straight face, grabbing her gi and stepped outside. Then she started screaming.

Ranma felt an odd sense of relief as he climbed out of the furo. That is, he felt relief until Akane started screaming.

* * *

Everyone turned and looked as they saw Akane running downstairs, screaming her head off. Genma and Soun quickly removed anything they put on the table as Akane hoisted it over her head, her fear replaced by rage and hatred.

"I'll weigh 'im down; I'll DROWN that _baka_ in the bathtub!" she growled to herself.

"Akane, what's the matter?" asked Kasumi, as she and Dr. Tofu looked over. "And what are you doing with that?"

"There's a _hentai_ in the bathroom!" Akane exclaimed.

"Well, gee, Akane, why didn'cha just clobber him?" asked Nabiki in a rather know-it-all sort of way.

"Because I got scared!" Akane retorted.

"Oh, I do hope Ranma's alright; I thought she was in there taking a bath right now." Kasumi said with a look of concern.

"...'scuse me." said a low, masculine voice, which got everyone's attention.

"Who's that?" asked Kasumi. Standing before everyone was a black-haired boy with a pigtail; he had blue-grey eyes and wore a red sleeveless Chinese shirt, as well as a pair of black pants. He looked a bit embarrassed, judging from the look on his face.

"Who are you?" asked Nabiki.

"...I'm Ranma Saotome," the boy explained. "Sorry 'bout this. And the guy wrapped in bandages is my brother, Kenma."

The Tendo sisters were befuddled by this sudden turn of events...even Akane, who began to buckle underneath the weight of the table she was holding over her head.

* * *

A little bit later, Kenma was able to form coherent sentences again, and he was feeling a bit better.

"I can explain everything," Soun told his daughters. "This is my dear old friend…"

"Genma Saotome." the heavyset man with glasses introduced himself. "And this is my son…" he felt a sharp pinch in the arm, courtesy of the black-haired boy. "OW! ...I mean, **_sons_**."

"Ranma," said the black-haired boy.

"Kenma." added the ginger-haired boy; as he looked around the room, he could plainly see that the girl called 'Akane' was undoubtedly glaring daggers at Ranma; for what reason, he didn't know. As far as he knew, Ranma hadn't done anything wrong.

"This gets more interesting by the minute," Nabiki observed.

"Are you really her, the girl we saw earlier?" questioned Kasumi.

"I am…" replied Ranma.

"It's such a long story, I don't know where to begin," Genma uttered as he got to his feet. "So let's just start from here."

And he grabbed Ranma by the shirt and pitched him straight into the koi pond. A few seconds later, Ranma resurfaced, but as the same red-headed girl from earlier that day.

"What'dja do THAT for?!" she bellowed angrily.

"Oh, my." muttered Nabiki, stealing a line from Kasumi.

"Jusenkyo, I assume?" asked Dr. Tofu, who had some knowledge of the cursed springs.

"Ranma's a...girl now." observed Kasumi.

Genma gazed down at the transformed person before him. "I am so ashamed...I cannot bear to see my son like this…" he spoke in an over-dramatic manner. "Ranma Saotome, you break your father's heart! It's bad enough one of my sons wants nothing to do with martial arts, but now my other son is cursed to turn into a girl! Oh, the humiliation of it all...!"

But before he could put on some more crocodile tears, he found himself getting shoved into the pond by Ranma...or, Ranko, in this case.

A second later, the large panda emerged from the water, much to the surprise of the others.

"Who are you to talk?!" asked Ranko. "My old man's a friggin' panda!" she reared back and angrily punched Genma in his gut.

"Daddy? You certainly have some odd friends," stated Kasumi.

"They weren't always like this," said Soun. "Not before they went to China...and took that terrifying training exercise!"

After a quick steam in the furo, Genma and Ranma were back to their normal selves.

"Ah, yes; it was 3 fateful weeks ago…" Genma sighed as he began to explain.

* * *

**_ONE EXPLANATION LATER…_ **

* * *

By the time Genma was done, the Tendo house was eerily silent.

"The legendary ground of accursed springs…" Soun muttered. "Its true horror has always been shrouded in mystery, but now…"

"Whaddya mean, 'true horror'?" Ranma fumed as he grabbed his father by the shirt. "Yo, old man; what's the big idea takin' us to that place anyway?"

With a judo shout, Genma threw Ranma back into the koi pond.

"Listen to yourself; you sound like a woman!" he spat. "Were you not prepared to give your life for the sake of training?!"

Ranko climbed out of the water, now holding a bucketful. "My life, yes…" she said, before dumping the water on Genma. "...BUT MY MANHOOD'S ANOTHER STORY ALTOGETHER!"

The panda took a defensive stance and growled.

"Ya just had ta find that training ground, even though ya don't speak a word of Chinese!" Ranko snapped as she and Genma began to grapple.

Soun wiped some tears from his eyes. "How I suffer for you…" he said as he held up a full teakettle. "Here."

He then emptied some of the scalding hot water on Genma's head, though he was oblivious to the pain his friend was in. "When doused with hot water, you return to human form…" Soun noted.

The human-once-more Genma panted in exhaustion. "...it needn't be that hot…" he winced.

Soun leaned over to Ranko. "When doused with cold water, you become a girl…" he muttered as he almost dumped the scalding-hot water on the girl. "But hot water turns you back into a boy!"

" _Hot_ water, not **_scalding_**!" Ranko snapped, before Soun patted her on the shoulder.

"Well now, your problem isn't so bad," he chuckled. "My oldest daughter, Kasumi-she's 19; my middle daughter, Nabiki-she's 17; and my youngest daughter, Akane-she's 16. Pick any one you like, and she'll be your new fiance."

Kenma glanced between the three of them. "I feel like a kid in a candy store...which one should I choose? Oh, drat...I never was too good when it came to making difficult choices like this…" he pondered, scratching his head. The three girls were very beautiful in their own ways. Kasumi was a bit on mature side, a side that turned Kenma on, while Nabiki had a body that he could die for. Plus, her icy attitude fit nicely with his fiery persona. And then there was Akane. The tomboy. She was everything Kenma could hope for. Someone who was feisty, self-dependant, which Kenma liked seeing in women. Plus, she wasn't bad looking; he liked modest girls that showed a little of their assets.

Akane started feeling anger and disgust consume her as Kenma ogled the three of them. "You, you… HENTAI! BAKA!"

She brandished a mallet and attempted to hit Kenma when Genma beat her to it.

"Boy, shut your mouth," Genma said as he punched Kenma,knocking him out. "This deal was made between me and Tendo-san. I get to decide who marries one of these three girls. And that person definitely isn't you."

Kenma rubbed his head. "What do you mean? I'm your son, aren't I? So why can't I get a fiance?"

"Because, boy, you're not a martial artist. If you were more like your brother over here, then maybe you could have had one of these fine, young ladies. But no, you decide to abandon the art of martial artists for… For drawing pictures! And stupid pictures, to boot!"

"What do you know, you fat lump?!" Kenma retorted. "Like you could ever hope to understand my creative genius!"

"How could you say that to your son, Saotome?" Soun asked, manifesting his iconic demon head.

"I agree with Tendo- _san_. Your son has just received multiple serious injuries and you decide to hit him. And to add insult to injury, you literally insult him while he's injured!" exclaimed a stern Dr. Tofu. He quickly diverted his attention to Kenma. "Are you ok? Do you feel any pain. Well, regardless if you feel pain, I want you to stay the night at my place so that I can treat you properly."

"Pops! Give 'im a break! He just got sent into orbit cuz of that tomboy over there! Plus, he's a great artist! If he becomes really famous, I won't be surprised if he decides not to give ya some of the money he makes."

Kenma nodded. "I think I won't give him any-not even a single yen!" he agreed.

Genma started to cower in fear as Akane rose to her feet, furious. "What did you just call me?"

Ranma turned to Akane and inwardly cringed at her facial expression. However, at that very moment, the Saotome Stick Foot in Mouth ability kicked in. "Are ya deaf? Here,I'll say it again. Y'er a tomboy! Uncute, unsexy, built like a brick, stiff as a stick! Even my cursed form is better built!"

A rage filled Akane glared at an oblivious, who was laughing to himself, as the others were bracing for impact. Akane grabbed the dining table with one hand and clobbered the unaware Ranma.

Genma shook his head at Ranma. "Now THAT he deserved."

Akane shifted her glare upon Genma, who began cowering in fear once again. "You're even worse! Like Dr. Tofu said, not only did you injure Kenma once again, you also insulted him! I oughta to send you into space!"

Genma splashed himself with some nearby cold water. Once in his cursed form, he pulled out a sign that read "I'm just a cute lil' panda!" while he played with a beach ball.

Kenma sniffled a little bit. "Nobody's ever stood up for me like that before…" he said. "I dunno what to say...other than thank you, but still…"

He dropped to his knees before Akane. "Truly...you are a goddess on Earth!" he exclaimed. "I'm not worthy to be in the same room as you!"

Akane didn't know how to react. No boy has ever told her things like this. Well…Kuno did, but he was a delusional idiot… but Kenma… she could tell that he was somehow different. She just didn't know how he was different. This confusion caused her to react the only way she knew: violently.

Akane slapped Kenma across the face, causing him to once again go into an unconscious state. He murmured something about Akane while in such a state.

"Akane- _hime_ …" he murmured. "...words cannot describe how much I love you…"

Ranma had gotten to his feet and recovered from his injury. "..if that's how she reacts to compliments, then she's never gonna get a boyfriend, let alone a fiance…" he grunted.

Kasumi let out a gasp. "Oh my! Our dinner is going to get cold!" she exclaimed.

Everyone who was conscious had looks of shock as Kasumi rushed into the kitchen to get the rest of the meal.

* * *

 **NOTE:** This fanfiction will cover some of the arcs from the anime and manga, as well as some of the O.V.A.s & films...not to mention some of the final arcs that were manga-exclusive.

**Author's Note:**

> KENMA FACTS:  
> -Kenma is, essentially, a player. He likes to hit on all the girls and his art skills plus his good looks help him. Of course, he has no self control, much like how Ranma always sticks his foot in his mouth, and that lack of self control causes him to have many problems, especially with Akane.  
> =Ranma and Kenma both have the hots for Akane; of course, Ranma can’t express himself and sticks his foot in his mouth while Kenma’s a player--this naturally gets him on Akane’s bad side. But Akane, being Akane, falls for both of them (I mean, she did fall for an insensitive jerk like Ranma in the manga/anime). The true question is, which one will she choose?  
> -While Kenma likes to flirt, he’s ruled Nabiki out (since her only love is money). He tries a few times with Kasumi because ‘he likes to aim high’, but after he learns that local physician Dr. Tofu has a crush on her, he decides to stop pursuing her.  
> -Kenma learns to use weapons in order to take on Tatewaki Kuno (to make him stop harassing Akane to go out with him); he settles on a bolo-whip (like Tygra from "ThunderCats").  
> \--While feeling down in the dumps, Kenma meets Furinkan High’s janitor, a diminutive old man named Mr. Gomibako (translated: “dustbin”), who was once a powerful martial artist. Having witnessed Kenma’s rather...humiliating display (as well as sympathizing with the boy), Gomibako decides to take Kenma on as a student, granting him his bolo-whip.


End file.
